So, you or your partner has decided it’s time for a vasectomy. There’s really only two reasons why guys would pursue sterilization:
- You really, really never want kids.
- You have exactly the number of kids you want.
Despite there being just two reasons, everyone’s exact situation is different. For my wife and I, we consider ourselves lucky to have two offspring… but we’re done. When she was looking into replacing her IUD, I decided that preventing an Oops Baby wasn’t just a wifely duty.
Things to know when considering a vasectomy: (THIS IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE.)
- A vasectomy is not reversible.
- Ok, so theoretically they are reversible, but there’s zero guarantee of success and the reversal attempt is ridiculously expensive. If you’re considering getting one and undoing it later, your doctor will probably stop you right there.
- A vasectomy may be covered by your insurance. I paid $20 for the consult and $200 for the surgery.
- There’s no difference in how you feel or function in any way after the procedure.
- Have more questions? Seek out a urologist and get a consult.
- When the nurse tells you to take off your pants because the doctor will be right in, she’s lying. Leave your pants on because 20 minutes sitting in a paper gown is a damn long time.
Now that you’ve got your consult scheduled, here’s what will happen:
- The doctor will briefly examine your twig and berries and answer any questions you have.
- The nurse will give you printed instructions on how to shave your balls and a prescription for a mild painkiller to fill in advance of the procedure.
- They’ll schedule your surgery date.
So, here’s the question: when should you get a vasectomy?
You’ll probably have the surgery on a Friday. Many guys aim for March Madness, but that’s a long way off and the popular trend is going to cause a backlog of appointments then.
You want a weekend when you can really take advantage of some quality couch time, which means…
The best date in 2017 for a vasectomy is Friday, November 3rd.
Why is this date superior?
- All the Halloween parties are over, so you’re not missing out…
- …but you still have a massive amount of leftover candy laying around.
- College football is at its best in early November.
- No one takes vacation in early November, so you’re not competing with co-workers to get the sick time approved.
- You’ll be all healed in time for holiday partying.
- Most important: the weekend starting 11/4/17 is when the time changes, so clocks Fall forward giving you an extra hour to sleep.
Good luck with the ball shaving, and happy snipping!
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